10 Tips for Road-tripping with Young Children

As much as we love traveling and do it well, my husband and I are certainly no experts on traveling with young children (it’s a learn-as-you-go-crash-and-burn kinda thing). Just ask our friend we visited in Denmark last week as he jovially got to watch us try and manage our two tornados as they ran into traffic, gave us newly found attitudes and decided to throw a dance party while strapped into a Danish cargo bike, all while cruising around Copenhagen. We didn’t feel a big difference with our first who simply came along on our travels; and after an amazing road trip to Italy last year with both of them, we even got cocky in thinking this was too easy…. but after this week, with a 20 month and a 4 year old…and 30 + hours in the car… it was an entirely different ball game!

So no expert advice from us today, but just a few useful pointers we’ve picked up along the way.

1. Be flexible with your expectations
We learned very early on that we could not have the same holiday expectations as we did pre-offspring. No more sleep-ins, hotel room naughty time, late night dinners and long visits to the museum. That doesn’t mean you have to expect the worst either, travelling with kids is different yes, but can still be a lot of fun. It’s better to have a rough plan of what you’d like to see and just ‘wing it’ from there…

2. Adjust your plans around them
I don’t entirely agree with the notion that our children can rule all and dictate our entire lives, nor do I endorse the ‘kids are best seen and not heard’ philosophy either. When travelling, it is better for everyone if compromises are made. We adjust our plans around them and not to them. Do you have a bit of a drive between locations? Aim to do it during nape time. Want to climb the steps of the cathedral? Do it first thing in the morning and be prepared to carry them for most of it. Sharing a tiny hotel room? Forget the TV and bring a tablet if you want to watch a show after they’ve fallen asleep. Want to dine out? Bring something for them to read/draw/watch.

3. Let go of healthy, balanced meals for a while 
Of course we’ll always do our best, but road tripping (especially on German highways) often provides you with a very limited selection of places to eat. Prepping things from home sounds good in theory, but unfortunately, might not always be a viable option. It was pretty hard to get in their regular serving of fruit and veggies last week. With little babies, it’s easier to prep or buy pureed meals that stay fresher for longer in a cooler bag. With toddlers and preschoolers you might have to succumb to the extra bowl of fries this week or the added ice cream. It goes back to being flexible and working with what you’ve got. They still pooped normally, so I’m not too worried.

4. Moderate screen time
It’s not a blog post on parenting without bringing up those screens 😉 We gave into temptation and allowed our eldest to watch cartoons during the majority of the road trip, while her younger sister slept or played with her shoe laces. However, as our feisty preschooler quickly demonstrated last week, too much of it can indeed affect their attitude and disrupt optional rest time. Allow for some screen time here and there, but don’t rely on it too much either (much like at home really).

5. Be creative in the car
The age old favorite “I spy” game worked for us and still works for our little ones. So does singing along to their favorite playlist (side note: add lots of songs for variety- because you know they don’t get sick of them as easily as you do), inventing games, drawing and reading (granted they don’t get car sick). All of the things our pre-millennial generation had to content with during our road trips… our screen was called ‘the window’.

6. Include them in site visits
This is probably more fun with older children where they answer a fun quiz about the museum you just visited or an old story whereas the younger ones are probably more interested in whether they’re getting an ice cream after or not. Still, don’t underestimate their curiosity and share some history/fun facts in an age appropriate manner (a fun story, show-and-tell etc). We don’t know how much they’ll take in, but it can’t hurt to give it a go …

7. Don’t plan too much in advance- kids change fast
We did a road trip to Italy last year when the little one was only 8 months old, so she was pretty easy being carried around and slept a lot in the car. Fast forward another year, and this little toddler now wants to walk everywhere, won’t sleep out unless she’s exhausted and takes up a lot more energy than the last big road trip. When planning our little get-away more than 6 months ago, we references back to our previous trip and didn’t take into account that the toddler would be faster and the preschooler would be sassier 🙂

8. Stay organised
If you’re a bit of an ‘organisational enthusiast’ like myself (which I don’t see as a bad thing, but each to their own) being organised is a given. Even if you’re not though, staying somewhat organised can help reduce any extra stress that might pop up during a morning check-out, late arrival or traffic block. Keeping your suitcases fairly neat and avoid rummaging through a pile, trying to find your pj’s in a dark hotel room. Dirty clothes in a separate bag will stop you from accidentally smelling like someone who just spent 8 hours in a car (wait.. you probably already do..). My husband likes to print out all the bookings for each hotel en route/amusement park tickets/ car parking, etc and place them in a little folder (in chronological order) so he has the next location ready for the GPS along with accompanying documents. People call me the neat freak, but when it comes to our travels, he takes over and becomes Dr Efficient … it’s quite the turn on actually 😀

9. Do it like a boy scout – and always be prepared
Much like being flexible and organised, being prepared is always good for any unplanned events. We had to learn this the hard way as we drove 10 + hours on a Sunday where my sciatica decided to flair up and no pharmacies were open for any pain relief. Another previous incident involved someone’s bowel movements, and without too many details, let’s just say that ‘Immodium/Smecta” are now always packed as a ‘just in case’. It’s good to have some basics handy like: painkillers, fever medicine, diarrhea medicine, and strepsils (the air conditioning in the car/hotel is no friend to the nose and throat). It’s always useful to have a little travel-sized First Aid kit with you.

10. Be wary of the “post-road-trip backlash”!
Our girls love their routine, and although an occasional break in that doesn’t usually phase them too much; a week or more of irregular sleeping hours/eating times and different locations does turn them a bit loopy. We were all very happy to be back home after a great trip, but our eldest (or let’s call her Satan for the purpose of this example) gave us a good day and half in purgatory before settling back into being her wonderful, slightly loopy, self again. Just like it takes them time to adjust to new surroundings, it takes time to settle back in at home as well …

We hope some of these tips will help you when travelling with younglings so good luck, godspeed and bon voyage !!

Adjustment to a New City: The Hong Kong Files

One of the best things about our little Earth is its wide variety of different landscapes, people, multiple cultures, big and small cities…. you name it. As we live in an age where travel is more common, it’s also fantastic that we get to immerse ourselves into and experience some of these different places . Some days it can be a true adventure, and eye-opener; although other times it can prove to be somewhat of challenge as well.

I’ve had to adjust to a few new cities over the years, and thought I’d share some of the snippets I have faced along the way. Below are some of the gems I have witnessed whilst living in Hong Kong so far.

(Please note that these examples are just a slideshow of my own warped mind and that it doesn’t necessarily mean that all Hong Kong residents fall under this interpretation. I certainly don’t mean to offend anyone or be disrespectful in any way… but life makes me giggle sometimes, no matter where I am or who I’m with, and today I have a goofy grin smeared on my face, in Hong Kong):

 1)  There will be a huge cue for the lift, when there are perfectly good escalators right next to it, and no one seems to mind it takes them twice as long to get upstairs. Surely, they can’t all suffer from escalaphobia (the fear of escalators… yep. I Googled it)

 2) Staying on the theme of lifts, I have found myself partaking in a game I call ‘sardines in a can’ where we will squeeze into a lift to the point where I could literally butterfly kiss the person next to me on the cheek with my eye lashes. As the majority are quite slim here (not a very good confidence booster when you’re having a ‘fat day’… but that’s another story..)I don’t think going over the assigned weight limit is a concern either).

3) I appreciate the general curiosity some people might have when seeing a blonde woman with her child, and for that reason I have no issue with people wanting to take pictures of us (heck, it kind of makes me feel like a celebrity some days)… but I don’t support strangers touching my child or even her stroller to have a closer look.  When this happens, I calmly channel my MC Hammer and advise them to ‘not touch this’ as I walk away … sideways. This has not happened often at all, but irked me so much I felt it was note worthy.

4) Speaking of photography; the first week into living in Hong Kong I was standing at the crosswalk when I noticed a young man pointing his phone towards me. As phones seem to be permanently attached to people’s hands these days, I didn’t think anything of it. That was until the light went green, and in the middle of crossing the road he abruptly stopped in front of me and pointed his phone smack at my face as I heard the camera shutter ‘cha-chak’; before then casually continuing on his way, leaving me standing there wondering what the hell just happened.

5) There is a vast abundance of phones around here and absolutely everyone has one in their hands (or so it feels like) to the point where the recorded voice at the subway stairs not only asks you to ‘please hold the hand rail’, but also warns you to ‘not only keep your eyes on your mobile phone’. Maybe something she could have also said to the bus driver as he played Candy Crush whilst driving.

6) I’ve come across bad drivers all over the globe (Cambodia, Poland and The Emirates being in my personal top 3) but I am sad to admit that I feel the stereotype of Asian drivers is not too far fetched. The biggest cause of any road rage swearing from my part has been due to the lack of people using their indicators around here. Swerving between lanes is one thing, but cutting me off on a busy roundabout whilst I have my daughter in the car will cause me to flip you off and curse you to step on a piece of Lego when you get home you crazy, indifferent bastard!!

7) Getting a foot massage is absolute heaven (granted you resist the urge to kick them in the face because it tickles too much or you accidentally walk into one of the ‘special’ massage parlors. But if you don’t end up with an awkward happy ending situation somewhere, it is definitely worth it!

8) For those who like their Internet Memes…. (as I need to go along with the times here)

 

9) Nicely waiting in line and allowing passengers to exit the train first is good and present in theory, but sadly, more often than not, you end up battling the wave of people trying to get onto the train before you’ve had a chance to get out. God forbid they miss the next one that will be there in less than 3 minutes..

10) It seems to me that people here are afraid of the rain, and whenever they see me walk around in it, I am stared at as if I am a complete and utter lunatic for getting wet (unless they have a good reason to be and I’m the idiot strolling through acid rain without her umbrella)

11) Whatever you do, don’t reach out to a brochure being handed to you on the street (unless you want to be followed by a pushy (but still friendly) Indian guy trying to sell you hand bags and wallets. It’s like the Wizard of Oz of knock-off brands (Oh gee whiz Toto..Gucci, Versace, Chanel ..Oh My!)

12) I grew up with the notion that Asian people walk fast. Don’t ask me where I got that idea from, but I can assure you it is not a valid one. I have often had to hold back the urge to moan ‘braaains’ when walking around the city or subway and am convinced that if a Zombie apocalypse were to actually happen around here … we’d be majorly screwed.

In the end though, no matter where we end up, there will always  be differences from what we grew up with.. Aside from the examples above, Hong Kong does have some amazing things to offer (food & culture only being the tip) and I will always recommend it to any travelers. I guess it’s just a matter of making the adjustment, learning how to cope with the issues you struggle with and enjoying and taking in everything else the experience can give you!

‘The Real Expat Wives’: When dealing with hurdles that come along with it

In my small 3.5 years of being an expat wife, I can’t say I have a wealth of knowledge on the topic just yet, but seeing my mother do it her entire adult life and making some friends who have been in the same boat for a lot longer, I became aware of some of the lesser loved hurdles that come along with the excitement of living abroad.

1) Missing your loved ones:

Although distance does make the heart grow fonder, it does not necessarily make the heart any stronger. By all means, give yourself permission to bask in the (what sometimes feels like) endless loneliness for a little bit. There’s nothing wrong with allowing for some sad times as well.  Having a good old cry (I’m talking the unattractive, slobbery, teary, wet ones) will let a lot of the sadness out already and you’ll feel better afterwards!  (Heck, I just threw myself a small pity party in the shower, some 15 minutes ago, whilst working out ideas for this post)

2) Stupid reactions to the: “I am currently not working” statement

A phenomenon I only recently became acquainted with as I stopped working to stay at home with our newborn (and after speaking with fellow expat wives, one that seems to occur quite often)…  Some people (not everyone, but a few) seem to think that because one doesn’t work (for whichever reason) they have nothing else to talk about but housework, beauty treatments, babies and the latest shows on the TLC Home Network. I have introduced myself at parties and when explaining I am currently a stay-at-home-mom, have literally seen the other person’s eyes glaze over with disinterest whilst they scan the room for someone more interesting to talk to.  After having a successful career as a psychologist for the last 10 years, that was quite a downer to experience, and I was bombarded with visions of me slapping my Degree in their stuck up face screaming: “acknowledge my intelligence, damn you!”.

There is no need to get validation from others. They don’t know your history, your interests and input; and if they judge you by a stereotype they have in their mind, well that makes them just as narrow-minded as they think you are.

3) Apparently not being part of the ‘real world’ according to some

This little gem happened to a friend of mine when she started work again and a colleague stated it would be good for her to see the ‘real world’ … Correct me if I’m wrong here, but making arrangements that go with moving house, finding schools, taking a bus to God-knows-where in a new city, making friends with total strangers, finding food in a store where it all looks like Chinese script (in our case, it really all is Chinese writing), arranging Visas and relevant documentation and trying to learn your address in the local language in case you get lost (which you will…and often.) … seems pretty ‘real worldly’ to me.

4) Making ‘the sacrifice’

I don’t see my situation as a ‘sacrifice’, but rather a choice my husband and I both made together. Sure, there are some things in life that change and those we go without, as a result of moving abroad, but the grass is not always greener on the other side, and every lifestyle has its ups and downs regardless of where you end up and with whom.

These are only a few negative examples that needed to be vented today, but of course being an expat has its many upsides and advantages as well!! Exposure to new cultures tends to build your patience and tolerance towards others as you explore new things and meet new people. Tasting different cuisines from around the world can be an eye-opening experience and who knows what you’ll discover! There is a challenge in meeting strangers and turning them into friends, but if we’re lucky, some can become life-long friends. Being away from family is hard, but it also means that the little time we do see them, we tend to focus more on spending quality time together and enjoying each others’ company. So to close off with something uber-corny (but true in my experience): An ocean can keep us apart, but it will never separate us ..